1.) Micky: "And that's how it always ends for men who use their knowledge of medicine for evil and badness."
Michael: "Come my trusty coharts, let us to the Monkeemobile, away!"
Micky and Davy: "Away!"
2.) Mike: "Save the Texas prairie chicken!"
3.) Micky: "Not bad for a longed haired weirdo, huh America?"
4.) Peter: "Why am I always the one to play dumb? Why can't I play smart once and awhile?"
5.) Pirate Guy: "Take him to the galley!"
Davy: "Oh please not the galley! Oh the galley, no, please don't hang me, don't hang me!"
Micky: "No, no not the gallows, the galley."
Davy: "Oh, you had me worried for a minute there, heh."
6.) Davy: "One more remark like that and I'll hit you with me purse."
7.) Mike and Davy: "Monkeemen!"
Davy: "Up, up and away!"
Mike: "Hold on, what's with this up and away thing?"
Davy: "I wanna fly man."
Mike: "Fly? Why you gonna fly man? The restraunts a half a block."
Davy: "Oh is it? We better walk then haven't we?"
Mike: "We might as well walk."
8.) Micky: "I've had it, I'm through!"
Mike: "Oh man keep your dress on."
Micky: "He's getting fresh."
Mike: "So he's getting fresh. It's for a pal anyway. Davy's in love with his daughter."
Micky: "Yeah and I'm gonna be his mother-in-law!"
Mike: "If you play your cards right."
9.) Micky: "You do and I'll be sorry!"
10.) The Monkees sing an American History song.
11.) Peter: "Me, the only man? Why me? What about the army? Ten-thousand strong!"
12.) Peter: "Don't fly (4x), if you get too close to the sun your wings'll melt!"
13.) Peter: "I myself am deeply jealous."